notes

[violette bijoux valentine <3]

depression isn't simply a sad mood or a blue day...

[magenta]

I want to add a comment about depression and it's symptoms. During my normal daily life, I've run into people who don't get it. They seem to view depression as copping out of life and its responsibilities. That makes me feel quite angry and misunderstood because (obviously to most of us I think), depression isn't a passing feeling or mood - I consider it a health condition. I mean it demands my attention whether I want it to or not. And whether I have time for it or not. Being chronically depressed affects my life, thinking, outlook, and ability to function in a very distinct and marked way.

Depression can take over completely.

In saying all of this, I totally realize that depression has many categories, types, and possible symptoms. And it plays out differently in everyone.

We all travel our own personal unique road.

[orange popsicle]

Depression affects everyone differently, but oddly, I seem to be able to get ready every morning (get dressed, do hair, etc). I know that's probably a weird thing to some people.

I have experienced an episode or 5 when I could not do that as easily (or automatically, maybe) as I do now. Maybe it's because I'm somewhat used to dealing with the waves of depression...? Not sure.

But one of the things that gets me through (life in general) is that I can choose an outfit for each day (& accessorize or whatever else).

I feel my chronic depression every day of my life.

I wish that it just wasn't so - that it would disappear forever.

Acceptance is - I don't know. Acceptance feels like an impossibility.

[olive88]

I agree that acceptance is difficult and often feels almost impossible (for me).

I have a really hard time dealing with people in my life (relatives usually but not always) who brag and boast about their life, events, travels, whatever it is.

Most people just do not get depression in general, depressed people specifically, or anything that's too deep it seems. Really gets to me.

It's not their fault, and certainly not their responsibility to understand. It's my problem, and it's up to me to learn how to live with it. Just feels like a burden much of the time. The weight is overwhelming. A lot about my life feels overwhelming.

[pink pearl]

Just a note about acceptance:

I find myself vacillating back and forth between a few things:
1. definitely accepting that I have to live with depression
2. somewhat accepting that I have to live with depression
3. wanting to be accepting that I have to live with depression (but not)
4. not at all accepting that I have to live with depression

 

[magenta]

...just wanted to briefly comment here that sometimes the feelings & state of mind from being depressed can become so commonplace, that it's difficult to imagine actually feeling "normal" & happy - like it's hard to remember what normal feels like

[olive88]

I''m agreeing w/ magenta that the feelings of depression can become harder and harder to distinguish from a normal healthy non-depressed self.

It's annoying.

I know that everyone battles different things in life.
No one is immune from turbulence(s).