holidays, dreaded ?

[violette bijoux valentine <3]

"the holidays" are never more than about 9 1/2 - 10 months away...
1. how do we all feel about them
2. what are some of our coping strategies in getting through them
(that seems rather sad to think that maybe many people who suffer from depression might feel the need to simply "endure" the holiday seasons)
3. what are some of our experiences, positive & negative

[pink pearl]

Sorry to say, that i do not look forward to the holidays - ever. I even feel a great amount of guilt & sorrow at stating such a fact.

Yet I have many many happy memories of the holidays - from my childhood.

I want to have a more positive outlook. The holiday season isn't supposed to be so intense & traumatic. So many familial obligations and stressors (is that a word ?) Unnerving time constraints. Everything seems to be concentrated in a small amount of time. I want to run away.

Some people have experienced losses around the holidays, & I know that those types of occurrences are difficult to navigate (past).

Life isn't perfect - but how do we make the best of it, even when things are a mess.

[orange popsicle]

Yes, I really do loathe the holidays. Don't get me wrong. I appreciate and am so thankful for what the various holiday seasons mean - it's very special to me. That's one big reason why the loathing is so pathetic.

Holiday celebrations should not be full of so much pressure. How sad that they have become that way for so many. Defeats the purpose(s). Completely.

I want to scream "stop stop stop".

[orange popsicle]

I always hope that someday I can get to the point where I actually look forward to celebrations and holidays and special events (or even non-special events) in a very different way than I do at this point.

When I am feeling hopeless, it's difficult to imagine anything at all feeling positive. Hard to look forward with happiness.

There's always hope. Always.

[pink pearl]

One of the things that I dislike about the holidays is that people (friends/acquaintances/whomever), in an effort to make conversation, tend to ask about one's plans for the upcoming holiday. "Are you going to be with your family?" "Will you be spending the day at home?"

It feels awkward - like I'm supposed to do those things, otherwise I'm an "outcast selfish rebel". And they don't know quite what to say to "no, I'm not". Maybe they're on "remote control setting".

I'm not wanting to criticize people for asking about holiday plans, but unfortunately that's what it looks like I'm doing. It does feel uncomfortable though (& somewhat stressful) when they ask those kinds of questions.

I also realize that not everyone celebrates every single holiday on the calendar. It's a personal choice.

[purple heart]

Whoa, holidays.
Crazy holidays.
Very foreboding (to me).

Sometimes I just want to skip over the whole thing.
Most of the time though I would rather figure out how I can handle holidays in a better way.

Probably everyone has both positive and negative memories of holiday seasons and celebrations. There are so few absolutes in this world.

[magenta]

I know people who have stated that the holiday season(s) is/are ruined for them due to all of the demands (real & imagined) placed on them.

1. gifts: choosing, buying, wrapping, delivering
2. parties, get-togethers, & celebrations: what to wear, how to get there, overdosing on whatever food/beverage, feeling obigated to engage in mindless conversations perhaps
3. decorating, simple or elaborate: putting up, & then eventually taking down & putting away, all sometimes just becoming a chore
4. obligations from family members: which house, when, how long to stay, what to bring
5. cooking &/or baking: time-consuming, a lonely job sometimes, being on your feet for hours at a time, lots of clean-up, need more refrigerator/freezer space no matter how many fridges you have?
6. getting talked into "whatever" else...
 

I could probably continue with the list, but maybe it sounds familiar to some (?)

Those are not bad things at all. But I suspect that for some, they start to grow more overwhelming & eventually become a burden. Hopefully not though.

But like I said, I know some people for whom that is true.

Balance would be a good thing, maybe.

[orange popsicle]

Maybe holidays and vacations are similar in that both demand (sort of demand) a huge amount of preparation (usually), yet both can be so rewarding (& not):

Both can involve:
1. special moments and memories
2. irritations
3. some fun (maybe even funny) photographs
4. unexpected weather surprises (good/bad)
5. treasured memories
6. unplanned illnesses, even losses
7. learning experiences
8. a heck of a lot of planning and work
9. uplifting & rejuvenation of the soul
10. clean-up time

There seems to be good and bad in everything.

[olive88]

It's possible to do something completely different and without precedent for a brand new holiday experience. It could be quite refreshing and exciting.

But...if you do something new, maybe you should be prepared for your family to try and make you feel a little bit guilty for "abandoning" them during the normal holiday celebration.

Maybe plan ahead and try to think of what you might say if and when they do complain...because many families will want to try and give you grief for making an original plan that doesn't involve them (if that is what you normally do).