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general / MOVED: coping
« Last post by violette bijoux valentine <3 on June 29, 2017, 09:49:54 PM »
This topic has been moved to [coping with depression].
coping with depression / Re: coping
« Last post by orange popsicle on June 29, 2017, 09:45:42 PM »
One of the symptoms that I experience quite often is the feeling that I am going to go crazy if I don't get a lot done.

Yet, it's difficult to focus or concentrate on certain types of tasks. Reading is way challenging. Even watching something slightly mindless on television takes a lot of effort.

It's a feeling of being bored, restless, and frustrated.

For me, it's excruciating.
I "get" it that it's not a whole h _ _ _  ("heck")  ;) of a lot of fun to be around a sad person. Many people don't know how to be, what to say, how to act, what to do...

Remember that someone who's going through depression doesn't even want to be with him/herself. They also don't want to be around anyone else. It's a complete and total struggle.

When someone is grieving a loss (of anyone or anything), it's so not necessary to talk and say something profound. Just be.

managing holiday experiences / Re: holidays, dreaded ?
« Last post by magenta on June 29, 2017, 09:21:22 PM »
I know people who have stated that the holiday season(s) is/are ruined for them due to all of the demands (real & imagined) placed on them.

1. gifts: choosing, buying, wrapping, delivering
2. parties, get-togethers, & celebrations: what to wear, how to get there, overdosing on whatever food/beverage, feeling obigated to engage in mindless conversations perhaps
3. decorating, simple or elaborate: putting up, & then eventually taking down & putting away, all sometimes just becoming a chore
4. obligations from family members: which house, when, how long to stay, what to bring
5. cooking &/or baking: time-consuming, a lonely job sometimes, being on your feet for hours at a time, lots of clean-up, need more refrigerator/freezer space no matter how many fridges you have?
6. getting talked into "whatever" else...

I could probably continue with the list, but maybe it sounds familiar to some (?)

Those are not bad things at all. But I suspect that for some, they start to grow more overwhelming & eventually become a burden. Hopefully not though.

But like I said, I know some people for whom that is true.

Balance would be a good thing, maybe.
managing holiday experiences / Re: holidays, dreaded ?
« Last post by purple heart on June 29, 2017, 07:59:23 PM »
Whoa, holidays.
Crazy holidays.
Very foreboding (to me).

Sometimes I just want to skip over the whole thing.
Most of the time though I would rather figure out how I can handle holidays in a better way.

Probably everyone has both positive and negative memories of holiday seasons and celebrations. There are so few absolutes in this world.
I have fought (yes, I would say "fought") chronic depression for most of my life. I also know people who have had or who still do deal with depression in one or more ways. Many people here already know this, but it can be extremely debilitating.

Other people, those who do not struggle with depression and all of its symptoms, can be very helpful and supportive. Or...they can be the opposite.

I don't think that anyone wants to be purposefully non-supportive, but some people just aren't understanding of anything that they have not personally experienced. Or maybe they're struggling to be understanding.

I don't blame them. There are many things, including aspects of other people's lives, that I probably do not fully understand either. Though we don't have to completely "get" whatever-it-is in order to show compassion.

I try to learn everyday.
Maybe we all have a long way to go.
And we can help each other??
coping with depression / Re: coping
« Last post by pink pearl on June 29, 2017, 07:28:44 PM »
I prefer to feel (somewhat) in control of my life. It doesn't really happen that way though.

There is no one single magical answer to "coping with depression". Wish that there was.

It seems that those horrible agonizing feelings are always sort of hovering in the wings, always prepared to spontaneously reappear in one's head and in one's thinking. Infiltrates the mindset.

Maybe coping is an ongoing process - day to day, one moment at a time, learn as we go, pray a lot...
managing holiday experiences / Re: holidays, dreaded ?
« Last post by pink pearl on June 29, 2017, 07:19:51 PM »
One of the things that I dislike about the holidays is that people (friends/acquaintances/whomever), in an effort to make conversation, tend to ask about one's plans for the upcoming holiday. "Are you going to be with your family?" "Will you be spending the day at home?"

It feels awkward - like I'm supposed to do those things, otherwise I'm an "outcast selfish rebel". And they don't know quite what to say to "no, I'm not". Maybe they're on "remote control setting".

I'm not wanting to criticize people for asking about holiday plans, but unfortunately that's what it looks like I'm doing. It does feel uncomfortable though (& somewhat stressful) when they ask those kinds of questions.

I also realize that not everyone celebrates every single holiday on the calendar. It's a personal choice.
managing holiday experiences / Re: holidays, dreaded ?
« Last post by orange popsicle on June 28, 2017, 09:03:12 PM »
I always hope that someday I can get to the point where I actually look forward to celebrations and holidays and special events (or even non-special events) in a very different way than I do at this point.

When I am feeling hopeless, it's difficult to imagine anything at all feeling positive. Hard to look forward with happiness.

There's always hope. Always.
depression as it relates to missing persons / Re: tammy kingery
« Last post by pink pearl on June 28, 2017, 08:57:05 PM »
This particular missing person story about Tammy Kingery is so distressing. She must have really been suffering.

When a person struggles with enjoying and appreciating the things that usually excite them and used to bring them joy, ...well that just completely changes their outlook and state of mind.

I realize that if you're reading this and you've never experienced depression first-hand, the thought of having to work at doing "previously-happy activities" probably seems crazy.

When you're this depressed, it's so hard to care.
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