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miscellaneous / being comfortable with who you are
« Last post by olive88 on July 01, 2017, 03:56:55 PM »
I want to stop talking to myself in this way:

What is that person over there doing?
Should I be doing that same exact thing?
Am I missing something that I'm supposed to figure out?
Maybe I'm not worrying enough.
I'm not doing life properly, am I...

Being comfortable with myself is something that I would like to be better at doing, but it's quite difficult to work on doing this when I keep comparing myself with other people, their lives, their choices, their situations.

Everyone's different and they make different choices because they are unique.

We are all originals.
It's ok to be different from everyone else.
It's ok to live our lives differently - to be exclusive.
We are all special, each one of us.
And we all have very different and exceptional jobs to do while we are here.
miscellaneous / self-care
« Last post by pink pearl on June 30, 2017, 09:41:46 PM »
Some of my favorite self-care things to do:
1. polish toes and nails (pedicure/manicure, done by me)  ;)
2. hydrate (not always good at this one)  49<>
3. get stuff done (yes, i consider this to be self-care for me - maybe i like to feel a little bit crazy)
4. draw pictures  57<> ...yyyaayyy

I'm not a very good sleeper (insomnia), so I won't include "getting rest".  ::)
general / Re: notes
« Last post by olive88 on June 30, 2017, 09:14:05 PM »
I''m agreeing w/ magenta that the feelings of depression can become harder and harder to distinguish from a normal healthy non-depressed self.

It's annoying.

I know that everyone battles different things in life.
No one is immune from turbulence(s).
general / Re: phobias
« Last post by orange popsicle on June 30, 2017, 09:08:20 PM »
Sometimes I have to push myself to get out of the house and go (wherever). It's not a phobia. It's most likely the depression wanting to have its way.

I know that many people do have true phobias, and they're extremely scary and completely interfere with their lives.

I have done quite a bit of reading about phobias and anxiety in general.
Sometimes with phobias, little tiny steps can be taken...very very slowly (in addition to holding someone's hand - figuratively or literally).
managing holiday experiences / Re: holidays, dreaded ?
« Last post by orange popsicle on June 30, 2017, 09:02:33 PM »
Maybe holidays and vacations are similar in that both demand (sort of demand) a huge amount of preparation (usually), yet both can be so rewarding (& not):

Both can involve:
1. special moments and memories
2. irritations
3. some fun (maybe even funny) photographs
4. unexpected weather surprises (good/bad)
5. treasured memories
6. unplanned illnesses, even losses
7. learning experiences
8. a heck of a lot of planning and work
9. uplifting & rejuvenation of the soul
10. clean-up time

There seems to be good and bad in everything.
meds used to treat depression / Re: medications used for depression
« Last post by orange popsicle on June 30, 2017, 08:53:40 PM »
Here's some major vacillation for you:
One day I greatly appreciate modern medicine and am thankful for prescriptions.
The next (moment), I want to throw them off of a pier.

Makes perfect sense, no ??
There have been times when other people (those I know, as well as strangers) have been of great help to me, in a variety of circumstances and situations.

Sometimes it's because they:
1. showed a warm smile (or even just a small "Mona Lisa")
2. have said a few words of encouragement (or showed it in their facial expressions)
3. retrieved some item for me in a supermarket - really, some of those shelves have been set up for the Jolly Green Giant (ok, maybe not - I do realize that people are growing more tall and more beautiful than ever)
4. opened a door for me (they've been men, women, children, ...)
5. did something for me when I know that it meant sacrifice in their own schedules or lives

One time (at the annual LA County Fair - big event every year at the end of summer/beginning of autumn), a lady (a complete stranger) heard me talking to my family about some hot pink yardsticks that I saw some people carrying, that some vendor had been randomly giving away to people. I was just commenting that I thought that they were pretty. You could not miss these yardsticks - very noisy color, you see.  7505<> (I like measuring devices such as yardsticks as I love to sew, alter, & mend...clothes, mostly.) All of a sudden this lady appeared out of the crowds and gave me her hot pink yardstick. I was...I didn't know what to think. I was so surprised. I smiled, thanked her, and she gave me a big smile. I still have (and use) that yardstick.
how to help someone who has depression / Re: does helping others, help you?
« Last post by pink pearl on June 30, 2017, 07:55:23 PM »
In my experience, it can be (hugely) therapeutic to try to help others, even when we don't think that we're in any condition to be helpful. As in "no, I cannot possibly help anyone today - I have too many problems that I need to work out - I'm a total mess, worthless, distracted". I think that it's a myth to assume that one needs to be nothing less than perfection in order to do what we can, and help to make a positive difference in this world.

I don't mean to imply that we should completely ignore ourselves and our very necessary self-care. If we don't attend to our own needs, then it will might adversely affect how well we can be present for other people (our families, friends, whomever else). Looking outside of oneself can be oneself as well as to the other person(s) who may be needing encouragement or support.

I'll speak for myself when I say that at times I have toodled through my day without spending too much time in thinking of anybody else. I can be stuck inside of my own thoughts and problems. I have worked on being more observant to other people and to their possible needs.

Nothing is magical - I have to work on it moment by moment.  It's an ongoing project.

There are multitudinous examples of this concept within the pages of history.
depression as it relates to missing persons / Re: tammy kingery
« Last post by purple heart on June 30, 2017, 04:09:55 PM »
It seems to me that the story of Tammy Kingery is about not only the internal struggles of Tammy, but also about the mental torture of her family & friends after she disappeared. I cannot imagine what that is like, having someone in your life one moment...and then they're just gone. No answers.

It sounds as if she was being tormented by her depression. Since she never returned from her walk (or wherever she went), it seems that the sadness felt like it was too much for her to bear.

I think too, a severely depressed individual will take risks and perhaps carelessly place him/herself in harm's way. Not bother to be as cautious as when feeling their normal self.
When you're feeling badly, it may feel completely impossible to help other people (with whatever -  depression, or anything else).

I wonder if it ends up also helping the "comforter".
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